Sink or Swim

Who Is In your Boat?

I know the title is a bit abstract, so let me break it down. Today we will be talking about friendships and more specifically that close friend circle we may have. We have all heard the famous saying that says " show me your friends and I'll show you your future." I would like to delve into that saying a bit further.

From a young age we have all had that one person we can go to and talk about anything and everything. That person who you shared lunch with at school, or had sleep overs with. they may have been a next door neighbour or someone you met on your first day of school. Whoever they are, they can be someone you consider a close friend. A person you can rely on and share laughs with.

friend /frɛnd/ noun a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection”

I've always been someone who makes friends easily. I don't know why but people are drawn to my weirdness. However I haven't always been very trusting of people. I had that reality check slapped in my face when I told someone something in confidence and all of a sudden the whole world knew. Even worse I've had people bail on me when I needed them the most. All these factors culminated into the person that I am today. Sometimes I wonder why people left or chose to gossip about me, but then I realise that I don't need to know because it wont change what happened. Anyway my sob story is besides the point.

Looking at your current circle of friends, can you safely say that they have your back through thick and thin? Can you call any of them in the middle of the night and they will answer? Can you lean on them when things get rough? If you can say yes to all those questions then you're good. But if not then there is a serious problem.

A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely. - Pam Brown

A true friend can tell when you going through something, they can tell when you need a shoulder to lean on and they know when you just need to laugh. But there are those who are only there when times are good, When you're having the time of your life and leech of your happiness. I'm sure you have encountered a few of those in life. Those are the kind of people who sink your boat, they are not in it for pure friendship but rather for their own selfish desires. I pray you don't have those kind of people in your boat currently. You know what's crazy? Is that while you are sinking in the boat, that person wont help you to swim... I don't know about you but i'd be mad that they watching me sink. I mean this is why you need to know who is in your boat, because if you don't you will be sinking and there is nothing you can do. A dark whole will find and you can't get out.

So anyway this is why you need to be very selective about who you let into your boat.

Here’s a checklist:

1. Are they showing up for you?

2. Are they rooting for you?

3. Are  they praying for you?

4. Are they interceding for you?

5. Are they encouraging you?

6. Are they giving you a safe space?

7. Are they defending you when you are not around?

8. Do they make you feel good in their presence?

9. Do they include you in their life?

10. Are they always willing to listen to you?

These are some of the things you need to be looking out for and if your buddy isn't doing any of these things then why are they in your boat? Like for real why? I know it’s hard to cut them off because you have built a relationship or have known them for long but you can’t keep them around at your expense. As humans we start making excuses for them, we think that it’s okay and you can cover it up. No you don’t have to. You deserve better than that.

You deserve people who are genuinely happy to be your friend. A person who celebrates your victories. Who picks you up when you feeling low. You understands that sometimes silence is all that is needed.

As the Bible describes “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” ‭‭John‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

How many people these days are willing to give up their lives for you? These days they are not easy to come by. They may love you to your face and hate your guts in private.

We all know the story of how Jesus told the waters to be still. He had all His desciples on the boat with him. Men of faith, men who walked with Him, men who experienced His Glory. But in that moment they didn't believe that they will make it through the night. They were scared. It's normal to be scared. We all get scared. But the difference is they stayed close to the one who gave them faith. Jesus calmed the waters even walked on them. How much more faith does one need?

40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!” - Mark 4:35-41 NIV

All I'm saying is that the best decision I've ever made is to have Jesus in my boat. Everyone else may fail, hurt you, deny you but He never will. He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. He sits at the right hand of the father and makes intercessions for us. He loves us more than we could ever imagine. He laid down His life for us, for us to have eternal life in heaven one day. He did it all for us. So even when you don't have friends around Jesus can be that best friend. He is all we ever need.

I’ll leave you with this with Jesus in your boat you will never sink.